March 10th

I had my appointment with my doctor yesterday. As I suspected, baby's head was still firmly lodged in my ribs. Ultrasound confirmed that. The doctor was bemused about how she could be comfortable in the position she is in.

We discussed doing the external version. She mentioned that my placenta is in the front of my uterus, which would make the version slightly more difficult. With that and her position, the doctor put the odds of being able to turn her about 50/50. I explained to her my fears about needing another emergency section after all that transpired with Evan. So, I decided not to do the version. I have another appointment next Friday to check the position again (and they will check position prior to beginning a c-section). But unless baby girl has other plans, we will do a c-section on March 10th.

I go between being excited and disappointed. It is nice to have an end in sight. I am so big and feeling more uncomfortable by the day. I feel like I am out of room in there because every movement she makes is getting painful. And my skin is getting itchy because it is starting to stretch again. But a big part of me is very disappointed. I am sad that I will never be able to experience a good labor experience. It is one of those universal women's experiences that I will miss out on. A lot of people have said to me, "You aren't missing much." But I would like to be the one to decide that. I also am dreading having another surgery. I was in so much pain the last time. And I am worried about caring for Evan and not being able to pick him up, etc. I have heard that a planned section is a whole different ball game.

Anyhow, the best laid plans and all.... Since baby girl has been so willful already, she may have other plans for me. Maybe she will flip. Maybe she will decide to move out early.

It is only 6 am again. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am tired, but can't sleep past my normal wake up time. Up before even Evan. We may go to the zoo today. Depends upon how abitious I want to be. I would like to do something fun for Evan and the weather is supposed to be lovely, but I don't know how far I will be able to walk.

10 days...