Absolutely exhausted!

Whew! It has been a long few days...and will only get worse this week. Very busy. Today was D's 4 month well baby visit. Poor thing got her shots. She is just a peanut still. Weighing in at 10 lbs. 11.6 oz...still only 3rd percentile. But tall at 24.5 inches long (58%). Otherwise healthy :) We picked up Evan late in the day. He told me he was hungry and "juicy." (Thirsty). Very creative. He is still "pooping the big one" for us multiple times a night. Twice in the big potty tonight so we are really moving along.

Tomorrow our draft testimony goes to the Hill, so my work life will slow down a bit. Thursday is the big hearing. I will try to link the documents and such. It is pretty exciting.

Thursday is the kids' last day at their daycare. Moving to the new one next week. Kind of scary.

Delilah has been sleeping quite well in her own crib for naps. It is too loud here with Evan for her to sleep downstairs now. She isn't ready to sleep there at night though. :P She misses her mom too much.

Weight loss went out the window last week. I was barely surviving. I didn't gain...lost just a tiny amount. Hoping for more this week.

We have created a monster!

Evan has been doing really well with the potty training. He has had a couple of peeing accidents at school, but pretty good. He pooped at school today for the first time. When we got home tonight, Evan said to me, "I am going to poop after you read me a story, and you will say, "Yay, Evan! You did it!"" LOL. He did. And I said what he had scripted for me. And then he pooped again. The treasures make it worth it for him. I went in there again and he was still sitting on the potty (45 minutes later) looking at the bucket of treasures he got. I convinced him to try again tomorrow when he had some more poop.

Tonight, Evan, Delilah and I went to The White Fence Farm with Jen, Jose, Jasmine, Lori, Jayson, and Kayli. The White Fence Farm is not far from where we used to live, but we never went there. It has a petting zoo and a play ground and all sorts of crap. When we first got there, I said to Evan, "Come on. We have to go over a bridge." And he said, "Oh, holy shit." LOL. I said, "What did you just say?" He said, "Nossing."

He also told me that his name was "Evan Superstar." Good to know.

Well, I guess that's progress...

Evan told me tonight, "After you read me a story, I will poop in the potty." He hadn't pooped all day (had two pee accidents at daycare). And he did. I read him a story and went downstairs and he was already calling me back up because he pooped. He was very proud of himself. And got in the treasure chest for some sidewalk chalk. (He told me, "This was my dream!") Five minutes later he was calling me again. More poop. Which resulted in a squirt gun. He told me then, "I will poop some more." I told him not to force it if he didn't have to go. Another five minutes went by. More poop. This time a watercolor set. LOL.

After an hour (of blissful knitting and watching crappy Tori and Dean) I headed up to get myself ready for bed and Evan was calling out for me. I had forgotten to turn off his night light. But I smelled poop in his room. Sure enough. More poop. LOL. I gave him a shocked face and he said, "Holy moly!" I brought him one of the smaller treasures...a little plastic lion. He is in there now roaring in his bedroom.

No matter how early I get up, I seem to get to work about the same time. Today was tough because Evan woke up and wanted to poop on the potty. Great, right? Well, 20 minutes later he was still sitting there waiting and I was going to be late for work. So I had to talk him into trying at school later.

I only lost one pound last week, so I am having a hard time staying on plan. It is so easy to derail. I just have to think about the new boobs I am going to get once I get down to a lower weight. Breast reduction soooooon. Well, not too soon, but soon.

I just had a minute because my team is on the Hill for a meeting. Gotta run!

Thanksgiving

The last couple of days have been rough for me. But tonight I got my moment of grace. I have been laying down with Delilah in my bed for a few minutes to get her to go to sleep around 6:30/7:00. We usually nurse til her eyes start to close. Tonight she kept taking little breaks to pull off and "talk" to me--her sweet eyes communicating more than her coos every could. After she finally closed her eyes, I got up and I could hear Evan yelling something in his bedroom. I went in there and he had his pants down around his ankles. He was yelling, "I did poop in the potty, mama." And he did. We have been putting his little potty in his room because it is hard for him to get into the bathroom at night. This is the first time that he has done anything like this fully on his own with no prompting. God, I was so proud, you would have thought it was my poop in there. LOL. As we walked downstairs to get his prize, he kept pumping his fist and saying, "I did it!"

This was after he stayed dry all day at daycare. Perhaps a breakthrough? You know I have a whole box of toys for the treasure chest that i think are so cool...you know what he picked? One of those silly spinning windmills. He was so proud and going to show his friends tomorrow. LOL.

These moments are sometimes so far and few between that I needed to document this one.

Can't sleep

I have been laying in bed for over an hour trying to go to sleep. My body is exhausted, but my brain will not turn off. I keep playing a handful of events over and over in my head.

This weekend was supposed to be potty training weekend. Yesterday went pretty darn good...with a poop in the potty and very few accidents. Today was a different story. It was battle after battle. Cries of "You're mean" and "I hate this/you/potty." And spitting and hitting. He is a stubborn kid. I feel like we have done everything wrong with potty training now. When he pulled his head back and spit right in my face, I slapped him. I don't even spank. I just lost it. Then we have been telling him that if he doesn't start going in the potty, he will have to go back in diapers. He pooped in his pants during the party today and brought down a diaper and handed it to me. He really really does not want to go back in diapers, but he was ready to because he feels like a failure on this. He kept asking me, "Are you happy, Mommy?" I of course, tried not to show my disappointment. It has become a battle now. Battle of wills. And now I don't know what to do. We have been saying that diapers are for babies, but now I feel like we just have to not pressure him. Because if he feels like it is a battle, he is going to want to win. But how do we go back to diapers? He will feel like we are punishing him. I don't know. Being a parent is so freaking hard. My heart breaks when I see his face handing me that darn diaper.

I am stretched so thin right now, I feel like I am not doing anything right. Potty training, getting Delilah to sleep in her own bed, work, marriage, keeping this house up. I can't keep up with it.

This "party" was miserable. I think everyone else had a good time. I was being pulled in about 1000 different directions. I wanted to be able to greet my friends, but don't feel like I got much of an opportunity. I am done with the whole BBQ thing. Not worth it.

I am envious of James getting to go out. I don't really have anyone to go out with or anywhere to go. Pity party of one. Last weekend I declined to go to a party at a coworker's house because I felt bad leaving James alone with both kids at bed time....but that was stupid because James went out that night anyhow.

Anyhow, it is now almost 11...I hope I can get to sleep soon. These kids don't care that I had a late night...they will be up regardless.

FML.

I am ridiculously excited for the long weekend. Probably because it is first long weekend since my leave ended. Also probably because we have some fun stuff planned. Like our old friend Lori, from Hawaii is flying into town. And we all have a wedding in a park to go to.

Yesterday, Evan had his surgery. It was relatively uneventful. I forgot the camera and so won't have pictures of him in his gear. He was surprisingly happy...even though he didn't get to eat before we left the house. He got a little bit upset when they asked him to change from his SpongeBob pjs into the rocket ship hospital gown. But we talked him into it. I distracted him by using one of the socks they gave him as a puppet. The anesthesiologist was awesome and she let us come back to the OR with her. James held the mask in front of Evan's face, while I helped him hold this "Magic Wand." He got to tap this magic trick coloring book that was first blank pages and then once he tapped it, the pages were colored. James and I were almost as excited as Evan was. LOL. Evan was breathing in the gas and chuckling at his magical abilities. Then we laid him down and his body entered what the doctor called the "excitement" phase of going under. She said he was already asleep, but his body was still reacting. He was jerking and mumbling stuff. And then he was snoring. 10 minutes in the waiting room and the ENT came out to say that all was well. 10 minutes later we were in recovery with him. He was already asking us "Where's my chocolate milk?"

He was fine most of the day. Just a bit cranky. Really doesn't like the ear drops we have to give him.

We went out to Buca di Peppo for dinner with David and Linda. We sang Happy Birthday to David because his birthday is tomorrow (Evan led the way with the singing). Right as we finished singing, Evan pointed at David and yelled, "His penis is bleeding!" There was a few minutes of shock before we realized that he was referring to a statue behind David (oddly enough it was a statue of The David) that was painted gold and was reflecting some of the red fabric around us. LOL.

Work is keeping me way too busy. I can only do what I can do. :)